Why now?

What made me seek out a "spiritual awakening?" Beyond feeling as though I was missing the big picture, there have been a series of events in my life that lead to the point of either finding more or giving up altogether.

Ever have that feeling like something was meant to be? Like something was so destined, even if you tried to fight it, it would have happened. My favorite and also least favorite event is when something life jolting happens...it is the end of your world as you know it and life feels hopeless. This is my least favorite event because it's emotionally draining, traumatizing and sometimes physically painful. It is my favorite event because after it's all said and done you look back, and as Oprah would say you have an "aha! moment."

Looking back I can see my "series of events" that lead me to seek a spiritual awakening.

2008- I moved to San Diego, to be on my own; to learn to be an adult. I basically fell into a job in an industry that I knew nothing about; property management. At the time I didn't think much of this as being destiny or meant to be or anything of the sort, but had I not moved to San Diego I doubt I would have ever gotten into property management.

2009- I transferred to a new job in Kansas City within the property management company I worked for in San Diego. I met one of my best friends there...my friend soul mate. But I was miserable in my job and missed California desperately.

2010- I quit my job and moved back to California to work for a different property management company. The job was better, the pay was better and I made some great friends. But all the while I felt like my job was doomed and in less than 3 months my uneasy feelings became reality...the property had been sold and everyone working onsite was out of a job. This is where I freaked out. I am a creature of habit and at the time losing my housing and my job was more than my feeble little mind could handle...there most definitely could not be a reason for this happening to me! After being unemployed for one week I was rehired by the same company that had just laid me off and offered a job in Downtown LA and a discounted apartment in Korea Town. I think I enjoyed that job for about 3 days, but I soon realized I was literally working within the movie the Devil Wears Prada and I didn't fit it. My general feelings toward property management can be summed up in two words: cutthroat and superficial. I realized that no one was really friends and everyone was expendable...not a good feeling. One day I was cruising Craigslist checking out jobs...jobs that I had zero experience in and wasn't even interested in...I came across a receptionist position in Pasadena, CA. During my short employment downtown I was constantly told that I should live in Pasadena...I was the type that would live there...or so I was told. I applied for the receptionist position on a whim and didn't give it a second thought until I was called for an interview. One thing led to another and I quit my job in property management and moved to Pasadena.

2011- I make less money than I did in property management, but I work better hours and I don't feel like I have an elephant sitting on my chest all of the time. Once I moved to Pasadena I had a calm come over me that I had never experienced. Never before have I ever felt like I am right where I am meant to be. Up until now I have always felt something tugging at me, nagging. All along the Universe was pulling me closer and closer to this point...I may have come to this point kicking and screaming, but I got here. Once I had the relaxed hours and weekends off I was finally able to seek out my calling...dog rescue. I have participated in saving several dogs, my home is a virtual doggie hotel with a revolving door.

Now that I am here I'm able to grasp that I'm where I should be, I feel as though I am consumed with a need to know more. I understand that I am meant to be here, but why? What am I missing? What should I be doing if I am meant to be here? I have been experiencing this overwhelming sensation of anxiety, something big is around the corner, I can feel it, but I don't know what it could be...